Where Are His Medical Records?

We've been asking this ever since McCain wrapped up the nomination. But where are his medical records? And we don't just mean a review of his blood pressure and current skin cancer status, although those two factors are mighty important.

Really, the juicy stuff will be in his psychological review.

What? Presidential candidates don't undergo psychoanalytic tests, you say? If true, that's insane. Perhaps with an IQ test, combined with a test of leadership skills and megalomania tendencies, we've might have avoided the terrible Bush years.

But I still don't get it. NFL teams regularly perform psychological reviews of college athletes before drafting them. Why can't we do the same with potential Presidents? I'd like to know if Hillary is really an uptight sociopath who puts loyalty and power above all else. I'd like to know if Barack really thinks he is better than everyone else (and if so, whether his IQ backs up his assertion).

And most of all, I'd like to know if McCain's infamous temper and pre-stage Alzheimer's might be a liability for the most powerful job on Earth. We've already witnessed the dangers of frat-boy idiocy on the world stage.



With our reputation in tatters, I'm not sure having a hot-headed, forgetful asshole like McCain is the best remedy. So maybe the old coot should submit to a psychological profile and let us know the real scoop.